This is a challenge just like everything else with a few added elements to make it even more challenging. Here are a few things to consider:
- Today’s youth seem to be more connected than any other generation in that they have multiple forms of social media that their entire age group is connected through. This can seem to be a great outlet for youth to stay connected through isolation. But what if it actually makes things worse? After talking with many youth in Huntsville, it seems that most of the connections on social media are surface level jokes, sharing a VERY staged picture of how “great” something is, or simply sharing something they found on the internet. So, not very many real conversations about what is actually going on with anyone. No ways youth are drawing support from meaningful relationships. Yet, they may be deceived into thinking that they are connected as they scroll through all the names of who they follow or who is following them. Why should you be lonely if you have a bunch of likes on your snap chat?
- Friend groups that spent time face to face in March of 2020 have been fractured as every family seems to have a different level of comfort with how to approach the world. Some families have a very strict set of rules regarding spending time with other people due to living with higher risk family members or the fear of being out of work if anyone in the household is exposed or gets sick. Other families have allowed their youth age children to carry on with their activities in the same way they behaved before we ever heard of Covid 19. Thus, some of the group are continuing to meet while others are forced out of the group.
- With adults, they get to decide what their comfort level is and what changes they want to make. Adults have a form of control in their choices. Youth often do not. Add in a developing adolescent brain and you add in even more strife as they seek to test the boundaries of life.
- School is another huge issue. Every student may say they are glad it is not possible to attend, but if they are honest, would much rather have in a normal format so they could be with their friends and, in some cases, be able to learn in a better way. We all thrive with structure and one of the most structured parts of an adolescent life has been turned into an ever changing, uncertain, and often independent endeavor.
As you read the four points you have probably thought of several more that could be added. The picture is easy to paint darker and darker as all of the negatives keep coming up. All of this has created a process of grief for everyone. So, what can we as The Church do? The answer in the past was to put on an event and invite everyone to it. Food, fun, and already paid for activities were the big draw to create the face to face time. That is not possible for the most part now.
Christ has already given us the answer. Just be available and ask questions. In John 4, Jesus just starts a simple conversation and it goes from there. I know that we may not see the inside of a person’s heart, but with a teenager you know, it is not hard to guess. Start with small talk and then go from there.
Yes, seeing them in person could be a barrier, but adults are armed with tools no teenager can fathom. We have patience and can have no fear of rejection. We know the secrete art of post cards and letters. We can be persistent in our prayers and encouragements even if we do not see “progress”. Adults can also do the unthinkable and reach out to a teenager’s parents.
In some situations a meal can be shared. This can happen inside or outside. Zoom/any other video conferencing can be used. Depending on your group limited in person gatherings can happen. Plan them well and think outside of the box. Youth are growing desperate for real interactions. Start small and move in a way that people are comfortable. It may mean that different groups form based on differing comfort levels. Even though many things have changed, the main thing is still the main thing. We need to show people that we really care for them and then we can share the Gospel with them. The method can take many forms.
I would love to talk with anyone wanting to talk through ideas, safety, and or process for any youth focused ministry. We have been trying everything we can think of here at Covenant and we are seeing some good fruit.
Steven Herriott
Director of Youth and Families
Covenant Presbyterian Church