Thank you to Rev. Carl Malm, Center for Loss, Grief, and Change
There is a saying in grief work, “The only cure for grief is to grieve.” The first step in grieving is to name our grief. We can be grieving and not even realize we are grieving. Or we may feel sad and not recognize what we feel sad about. So we need to name our grief.Many of us may be grieving during this pandemic and have not named the grief. We may grieve out of empathy for the many who have lost loved ones to Covid-19. “Weep with those who weep,” we are told (Romans 12:15).But we may also be grieving for our own losses, even if the losses are temporary. It is important to recognize that grief is a normal, natural God-given reaction to any kind of loss, not just death (though that is of course the most painful kind of loss). In other words, whenever we lose anyone or anything of value to us, we will grieve. For example, if our best friend moves away, we will grieve. If our house is destroyed by a tornado, we will grieve. If we lose the full function of a part of our body, we will grieve.So what have we lost during this pandemic? What have you lost? Even if we know the loss is only temporary, it is still a loss. And as the weeks wear on, it begins to feel like the loss is permanent. Some of us have lost employment and livelihood, and that is a devastating loss and grief. We certainly have all lost normalcy. We can’t go to our favorite restaurant. We can’t do leisurely shopping in our favorite store. We can’t see friends and family. We can’t get the hugs and touching that we need for good mental health. We can’t engage in our favorite recreational or entertainment activities. We may have lost confidence in governmental authorities and institutions. And we cannot worship together or study the Bible together or eat together as we have always done. The list goes on. Did you notice all the “can’ts”? We grieve our loss of freedom, all we cannot do.It may be helpful to pull out a piece of paper and begin making a list of everything you have lost in this time of pandemic. Then write about or talk to a trusted other person about how you feel about those losses. Sadness? Fear? Anger? “We can only heal what we feel and reveal.” And the only cure for grief is to grieve.